IT'S ALL UP TO YOU. GUIDANCE ON DEVELOPING SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS.
Nichiren taught us that sufferings arise from "looking outside of oneself" for the cause or the solution to problems. The fact that it is you who are suffering means that it is your problem to solve, not someone else's. If you are looking for others to change, you may wait for a very long time. Still, people make extraordinary efforts to modify the behavior of others in an effort to make relationships work. But ultimately this is as futile as cleaning the mirror in an attempt to clean your face. The mirror will keep reflecting back the same image.
Through Buddhist practice, we start to see ourselves more accurately perhaps for the first time in our lives, with all our weaknesses and strengths. Day after day, we come to an ever-deepening realization (although sudden, remarkable flashes of self realization are quite common) that the relationships we have formed are a reflection of our own state of life. Then we can embark on the steady, long term process of developing our wisdom and capacity as human beings.
The key to transforming relationships lies in the process of transforming ourselves. Since the only person whose behavior you can control is yourself, use that power to the utmost. Work from the inside out.
Source: The Buddha In Your Mirror (Pg. 127 - 130)
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