"Forgiving people for the wrongs they've committed isn't the same as excusing or condoning their negative actions. The law of cause and effect is strict, and no one can escape the effects of their actions, forgiven or not. I've taken to heart the importance of forgiveness and self-reflection rather than blame. Mostly, I've done so for my own sake, because I realized that the only person harmed by holding on to pain from the past is me. In society, too, as we stand up against wrongdoing and injustices, we must keep peace, love, and forgiveness in our hearts so that our spiritual powers will grow. It is only by breaking the cycles of negativity that we can help ourselves, and others, to rise. Feeling resentful and angry, wanting revenge for what others have done, holding on to any part of the negative experiences we've gone through at the hands of others—these are the heavy chains with which negativity binds itself to us. Why would anyone want that? The freeing mind-set of forgiveness and self-reflection can be applied to every experience in our daily lives, not only to the big stuff. Whenever we feel irritated, upset, or annoyed, we should remember the sediment within us (as we saw in chapter four) and ask ourselves if we want to increase our sediment and irritation, or decrease it. If the answer is decrease—as I hope it always is—then the next step is to view whatever happened as an opportunity to build our wisdom and compassion, let go of negativity, and purify our karma. After I started seeing upsetting situations as an opportunity for transformation, the karmic patterns that previously plagued me faded away. I had learned the universal lesson that holding on to blaming others only prolongs the pain and invites it back again. Taking responsibility for any ways I may have contributed to a negative experience, I let it go, and free myself from it forever. This is how I healed the wounds in my heart, with tenacious compassion for myself and others. By healing ourselves, we can also help our children, and our children's children, to be whole as they start their own journeys through life. Over the past ten years, I've had the pleasure of working with children from diverse backgrounds,"
— Happiness Becomes You: A guide to changing your life for good by Tina Turner
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