*_It's Worths Reading Again & Again_*
*_Let's Be Holistic In_ _Dailogue_*
_In times of adversity, searching for something positive to focus on can be a coping mechanism. However, there is a fine line between healthy optimism and toxic positivity that could hurt mental health and impede acceptance and healing, *as proven*_ .
_Toxic positivity_ : *_When hearing 'stay positive' makes you feel worse. Learn why it is harmful and impairs healing_*
_Toxic positivity occurs when negative emotions are dismissed or suppressed in favour of a positive mindset during painful situations_
_However, *focusing only on "being positive" can be harmful for mental health* , and intensify fears and worries_
*_Being able to express one's emotional pain is_ _necessary for_ _healing to begin_*
*_Middle-aged men_* , _for example_ , *_tend to have more trouble processing painful emotions and suppress feelings of distress_*
*_Experts gave tips on how to deal with toxic positivity and manage_*
_When a teenage daughter was badly injured in 2021, which drastically affected her mobility, people rallied around her family in person and on social media with statements such as "stay positive" or "everything will be fine"._
*_On days when the parent was overwhelmed by the thought of all that my child had lost at the time — freedom to move around, sleep pain-free and enjoy her teenage years — some people reminded her parent that "it could have been worse_ ".*
_Obviously, everyone was trying to make us feel better, but those well-meaning words sometimes made me feel worse and hide their distress even more._
*_While her parent was immensely thankful for their support, it did not mean that their sadness, anxiety, stress, frustration and rage — which made people uncomfortable were not valid_ .*
_In times of adversity, searching for something positive to focus on or taking the #goodvibesonly approach can be a coping mechanism._
_However, there is a fine line between healthy optimism and toxic positivity that could hurt mental health and impede acceptance and healing_ , *_experts said_* .
*_Everyone has their own different happiness_ " _set-point_",* *_described as a person's general level of happiness_ .*
_This set-point can be temporarily affected by the ups and downs in life, but it will eventually return to equilibrium_ .
_"Being a happy person is not toxic positivity. Denial of everything other than positivity, however, is toxic," ._
*_AN UNHEALTHY_* *_FORM OF_ _POSITIVITY_*
_Expert says that toxic positivity is the belief that people should maintain a positive mindset in the midst of challenges and tough situations while ignoring all negative emotions_ .
"
_Focusing solely on the positive is not healthy because it silences the human_ _experience_ … _sooner or later, we will still face these emotions or stress in another setting or situation_ .
" _While positive thinking offers some benefits, it's important to note that *no one can think positively all the time* ._
" _Getting someone to express only positive emotions suppresses their ability to communicate and_ *" _makes them feel bad and ashamed for having negative_ _thoughts_ "*
_This unhealthy form of positivity can take on many forms._
_One example is a social media post that preaches optimism with feel-good captions, minimising a person's emotional pain._
*_Or when you tell someone who has just lost their job to_ " _stay positive_ ".*
_Or when someone has lost a loved one and you tell the person, "At least she lived a long life"._
_Psychologists pointed out that humans are designed to experience a range of emotions, including good and difficult ones._
" _Focusing solely on the positive is not healthy because it silences the human experience._
" _By avoiding negative emotions, we are denying their existence. But sooner or later, we will still face these emotions or stress in another setting or situation,"_
*_WHY PEOPLE AVOID TALKING ABOUT EMOTIONAL PAIN_*
_Why do some people harp on positivity but avoid uncomfortable dealing with emotions such as sadness and grief_
" _Society has ingrained in us that people with a positive mindset are seen as someone who is strong at managing their emotions, and can conquer life's challenges._
" _We look up to them because they seem to be able to get their life together while we struggle. We then view positivity as a ticket to greater acceptance and happiness_ ."
*_Some people may sincerely want to spread positivity to lift spirits but have the misguided belief that difficult emotions ought to be avoided_ .*
_In turn, the fear of being judged for being a "downer" or "wet blanket" could lead people to put on a brave or cheery front_
*_Phychologists_* *_observed that_* _middle-aged men tend to have more trouble processing painful emotions aund many turn to alcoholism and externalising behaviours such as self-harm or aggression to cope_
" _Social concepts of masculinity, such as a desire to appear strong and detached from emotions, can fuel alienation and a reluctance to seek help_ .
" *_They feel continual pressure to solve issues on their_ _own and suppress feelings of distress_* ,"
*_WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE SUPPRESS EMOTIONAL PAIN_*
_Side-stepping emotional pain does not make a person feel happier or heal faster. Research has shown that it has an opposite effect_
*_For instance, a 2018 study, published in the peer-reviewed scientific journal_ . _Plos One_* , _found that suppressing fears and worries during a health scare may intensify those_ _feelings_ .
_During the 2016 epidemic of Zika, a disease spread by mosquitoes and could cause birth defects, the researchers found that pregnant women who suppressed their fears about the outbreak had higher levels of fear later, prompting a vicious circle of emotional suppression and fear._
_In another study, published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in 2016, parents who suppressed negative emotions and amplified positive feelings in front of their children felt less emotionally well._
*_Being able to share negative emotions can be part of the healing process. It is essential to be able to grieve before there is acceptance and recovery_* .
_Phychologists have encountered people who are in complete denial of what is happening in their lives, preventing them from accepting reality and affecting their_ *_decision-making process_* .
_For example, the terminally ill who do not accept that death is coming or those who mask their trauma or disability with extreme positivity_ .
" *_Trying to eliminate all negative emotions can lead to poor judgement_ .*
" *_When we can accept reality, we make room for acceptance and hope_* ," *_They added_*
_The pursuit of perfection can do more harm than good_
_For those supporting a struggling friend or family member, empathy goes a long way._
_Their advice is to let the person talk about their feelings openly and avoid constructing a positive response to everything they share_
" *_Being able to share negative emotions can be part of the healing process. It is essential to be able to grieve before there is acceptance and recovery_* ,"
*_For people who find themselves in a situation where their emotions are invalidated or dismissed_* , _it's suggested pausing the conversation to express their need to share their difficulties without receiving unsolicited advice_ .
_On our part, increasingly suffocated by our own pretence of being an emotionally strong being who could handle every single setback while coping with our own circumstances , I stopped pretending that everything was okay._
_We should open up to a few trusted friends, tearing as we talked about the trauma that we went through, the utter loneliness that we too have felt while trying to keep it all together, as well as the grief over the loss of our usual family life._
*_I staunchly believe that those brief moments of expressing our emotions openly allowed us to process our feelings and situation, pushing us to forge ahead with renewed hope_ .*
*Until and unless one takes actions walking , talking and breathing their compassion and actualize to make a mutually grateful difference in people's life , words can only contribute to unhealthy anxieties ๐*
Sent from my iPhone
