Many people who come to see me for guidance complain of their unhappiness and blame others--their husbands, wives, in-laws, children, leaders, this or that--indeed, everyone and everything but themselves, Virtually no one feels that his suffering is his own fault, Each and everyone believes that he or she alone is entirely blameless.
A problem, no matter what kind, is an effect produced by the combination of an internal and an external cause. Here is a glass of water. Let's suppose that there is some sediment at the bottom. If you stir the contents, the water will become dirty. In this case, the sediment is the internal cause and the act of stirring is the external cause. Suppose we have a man and wife who lead a cat-and-dog existence. Each insists that the other is to blame. It's like saying, "Because you stirred the water, it become dirty." But no matter how hard you stir, if there is no sediment the water will remain clear. People often fail to notice the sediment and simply accuse others of stirring up the water. In other words, they are not aware that the cause of their unhappiness lies within themselves and that they are merely experiencing the effect of that cause after it has been activated by someone else. In a quarrel, husband blames wife and wife accuse husband. No one ever gets into a fight thinking, "It's my own fault."
One day, President Toda was giving individual guidance at his office in Ichigaya, Tokyo. A woman complained, "My mother-in-law is perverse, malicious and will not change her ways no matter how often I ask her." She called the older woman all name she could think of. "As young as you are, you are still unable to correct your own disposition," the president said to her, "How, then, can you expect your aged mother-in-law to change her?" He went on to give her detailed guidance. Finally, the woman realized that the fundamental source of the problem was not her mother-in-law, but she herself. When she returned home, she found that her mother-in-law's attitude toward her had undergone a profound change for the better.
The above principle applies to all other problems as well. It is not your mate, your children or your parents who are to blame. First of all, you must change your own bad karma. That is the purpose of our faith. As long as you only complain about your spouse or children, you'll never be able to solve your trouble. You must first consider why you are being hurt by them. Suppose you have a delinquent child.
Fundamentally it is because you have the bad karma to be hurt by your child; this is the consequence of your negative causes formed in the past. Secondly, it is because you have assumed an incorrect attitude toward your faith, in not recognizing your own responsibility but simply blaming your child. If you change your bad karma which causes you to suffer on account of your child, he will change of his own accord. People whose children cause them heartache put the blame on them but, as I see it, the accusers are often more at fault than the accused.
The important thing is for you to recognize that your own bad karma is the cause of your unhappiness and pray for it to be changed. As the Gosho states, "Even a small offense will destine one to the evil paths if one does not repent of it. But even a great slander can be eradicated if one repent of it." You should aquarely face your problems and wholeheartedly chant to the Gohonzon, apologizing for whatever offenses or slanders you may have committed in this and previous lifetimes. Then you must take action---that is, practice--in order to overcome them. If you do so there will be no destiny or karma which cannot be changed.
Suppose you have a debt of a million yen. If you have little money, you can't possibly repay it, but if you are told that if you return only 30,000 or 50,000 yen, the rest of the debt will be cancelled, you can pay it off with relative ease. This illustrates the principle of lessening one's karmic retribution. What you have borrowed, you must return. You create a cause, and therefore you must receive its effect. However, through the blessings of your faith, you can experience the effects of your bad karma much more lightly. You will be able to overcome all karmic retribution, no matter how serious, and enter into the happiest state of life.
Guidelines of Faith - Satoru Izumi
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